Update

R.I.P. Mooner, my baby girl. I love you.

It's been a while since I've posted an update on what's been going on in my life. Well, on January 31st my bestfriend/sister was admitted to the hospital for pulinary failure.....again. I spent the next week driving back and forth from Knoxville to Oak Ridge everyday to visit her in the hospital. She's home now and doing well, thank Goddess!
The week after that (which was the second week of February) I noticed a lump in my cats jaw. So, Tuesday the 9th I took her to the vet. The vet said that she didn't think that it was anything to worry about, that it was probably just a bad tooth that had some swelling, so she was given antibiotics and sent home. We were told to come back in seven days to see if the antibiotics were working. I'm very anal when it comes to my cat so, of course, like the hovering mama that I am I kept a close eye on her. On the following Friday, I ended up bringing her back in because it seemed like she was getting worse. She had to have a needle biopsy done because the lump had gotten bigger and it was obvious that the antibiotics weren't working. The vet was afraid that she had cancer.
     During all of this, the lump had gotten so big that my baby girl could barely open her mouth to eat. She would push food up the side of the bowl and then push the food into her mouth. Watching this broke my heart. I'd try to help her by putting food on a spoon but she was just not getting enough food into her mouth. She was so hungry. Her biopsy tests came back as inconclusive. (This was Tuesday, the 16th.) By this time, I had made up my mind on what had to be done. I couldn't sit there and watch this lump get bigger, so big that she couldn't eat and watch her suffer. I just couldn't sit there and watch my baby girl suffer any longer. So, Friday, February the 19th, I signed the papers to have her euthanized. I held her the entire time and told her how much I loved her. She looked so peaceful and I was so thankful that she's no longer hungry, or in pain. She's at peace now.
     Even as I type this the tears are streaming down my face because there's this huge emptiness inside my heart. Friday night was the hardest night of my life. For 13 years, there's always been a warm furry lump right next to me in bed. I can't even remember what life was like before she came along. I miss her face, her obsession with drawers and cabinet doors. I know that she is much better off now, but there is this huge empty hole in my life. I miss her so much.