Well you can't meet people if you don't. put yourself out there. So, that's what I'm doing. I just joined 3 local groups in Knoxville. One is a book club (I know, big shocker..lol..not) one is a Metaphysical meet up and the third is a Pagan group. I'm excited to meet new people! Who knows, maybe it could be just the positive experience that I need in my life right now! I'm super excited and can't wait to go to my first meeting. Wish me luck!
)0( Love, Hugs & Blessed Be )0(
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Keeping up with life
The coffee is brewing, the munch'kin is asleep and well, life moves on anyway. I think I've finally come to the realization that life is like a football game. You can't change the players, but you can't change how you play the game. I've let myself go nuts because my ex just doesn't get that he's a father and that our son should come first. He's never going to get it, so the only thing I can do is change how I handle the situation. He's usually the one that's passive when I'm the one going off. So, instead of going off....I'm going to learn to be passive. There are ways of pissing people off and then there's my way...lol. I'm tired of always being left in the dark and being the last person to know anything. I thought that he and I had finally grown up. He and I had made a commitment to communicate openly and honestly. He broke that promise by keeping things from me. I've finally accepted the fact that that was a fantasy....it's never going to happen. He's always going to keep things from me and there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. So, I'm changing me, instead. It's easier said than done....but I'm going to make a conscience effort to do it. OK, well...I gotta get off of here, my show is on.
)0( Love, Hugs & Blessed Be )0(
)0( Love, Hugs & Blessed Be )0(
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Please excuse me while I vent
I recently ended a friendship with someone who had been a major character in my life. We called eachother sisters and when we would introduce ourselves to people in public we would always say, "and this is my sister.....". I ended it because there's was always drama going on in her life. But what she didn't admit to herself or anyone else was that SHE INVITED this drama in and then expected everyone around her to treat her like she is the victim. She cheated on her husband in 2009 with her "high school boyfriend", got pregnant and then had an abortion to cover up her affair. I stood by her through it all, because that's what friends do, right? Anyway, she ended up leaving her husband a month or two later. She was staying with friends and met yet another guy. This one, after dating for him for a month, got arrested for making/selling meth. Oh, wonderful....so, guess who had to clean up the tears. She wasn't upset that he got arrested, she was upset because she couldn't stand to be away from "the love of her life". WTF??? Seriously? Ok, so continuing on with my story..... He'd been in jail for about a week when my "friend" met another guy. He also used/sold drugs. So, she leaves jailbait and ends up with the guy that I will call "the abuser". They were together for a few months when he started beating her ass. (supposedly) then she SUPPOSEDLY got pregnant with his kid and the guy supposedly beat her so bad that she lost the baby. Confused yet? Try to keep up, kiddos. Now during all of this time, she is still legally married and from what I was told by her mother she was still sleeping with her husband off and on when she needed money. Nice, huh? Of course I didn't know all of this shit while it was happening because she knew I'd go off on her for becoming a whore. So much for her "good christian values", right?
Where was I? Oh yeah, so, she's still with "the abuser" when "meth-head" gets out of jail. She sees him out in public, runs up to him and kisses him. So, she leaves "the abuser" IN THE PARKING LOT and drives off with "meth-head". She's with this guy a month or less when BOOM...all of a sudden she's pregnant again. And apparently her and "met-head" planned this one. About a month later, she miscarries. She calls me, and of course she's upset...but she doesn't call me to console her, she calls me to tell me that she is pissed at "meth-head" because he doesn't want to try to have another baby until he's got a job. I can say a lot of negative things about "meth-head" but that was seriously the smartest thing I'd ever heard him say.
Which brings me to why I "broke up" with her. I caught her in so many lies! She lied to "meth-head" about when she actually got together with "the abuser". I know for a FACT that she cheated on "meth-head" with "abuser"....I have the texts that she sent to me by accident, she meant them to be for "abuser". When I confronted her on it, she told me flat out that she was still with "meth-head". When I asked her why she would go out with another man she said AND I QUOTE: "Well, a hot guy asked me out so I was like, why not?" She has two children that won't even speak to her now because she's ignored them while she was switching guys like and AT&T operator switches calls. The thing that started the demise of our friendship was her judging her daughter for cheating on her new husband with her ex husband. She sat there and called her daughter a whore, that her daughter was selfish and that she couldn't beleive that her daughter considered herself to be a Christian. OMG...are you kidding me? Seriously? Uhm, hello, pot? Yeah, kettle would like a word with you. I told her that she has no room to talk that way about her daughter and that the apple didn't fall far from that tree. I've never just been out and out cruel to someone, but damn it....she deserved it. I can't imagine saying something like that about my kid. EVER.
So, that's the story of an ended frienship. Why did I end it? Because I'm ALWAYS the one that has to clean up her messes. I'm always the one left holding the kleenex that wipes her tears away. But the real reason? I'm sick of her shit. Totally. Fucking. Over. It. When you've given so much of yourself to someone, in the end, there's nothing left for myself. I saw what the rest of my life would be like if I kept her in it and it was UGLY and HORRIBLE. So, I walked away...and I haven't looked back.
Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading.
Jai
Where was I? Oh yeah, so, she's still with "the abuser" when "meth-head" gets out of jail. She sees him out in public, runs up to him and kisses him. So, she leaves "the abuser" IN THE PARKING LOT and drives off with "meth-head". She's with this guy a month or less when BOOM...all of a sudden she's pregnant again. And apparently her and "met-head" planned this one. About a month later, she miscarries. She calls me, and of course she's upset...but she doesn't call me to console her, she calls me to tell me that she is pissed at "meth-head" because he doesn't want to try to have another baby until he's got a job. I can say a lot of negative things about "meth-head" but that was seriously the smartest thing I'd ever heard him say.
Which brings me to why I "broke up" with her. I caught her in so many lies! She lied to "meth-head" about when she actually got together with "the abuser". I know for a FACT that she cheated on "meth-head" with "abuser"....I have the texts that she sent to me by accident, she meant them to be for "abuser". When I confronted her on it, she told me flat out that she was still with "meth-head". When I asked her why she would go out with another man she said AND I QUOTE: "Well, a hot guy asked me out so I was like, why not?" She has two children that won't even speak to her now because she's ignored them while she was switching guys like and AT&T operator switches calls. The thing that started the demise of our friendship was her judging her daughter for cheating on her new husband with her ex husband. She sat there and called her daughter a whore, that her daughter was selfish and that she couldn't beleive that her daughter considered herself to be a Christian. OMG...are you kidding me? Seriously? Uhm, hello, pot? Yeah, kettle would like a word with you. I told her that she has no room to talk that way about her daughter and that the apple didn't fall far from that tree. I've never just been out and out cruel to someone, but damn it....she deserved it. I can't imagine saying something like that about my kid. EVER.
So, that's the story of an ended frienship. Why did I end it? Because I'm ALWAYS the one that has to clean up her messes. I'm always the one left holding the kleenex that wipes her tears away. But the real reason? I'm sick of her shit. Totally. Fucking. Over. It. When you've given so much of yourself to someone, in the end, there's nothing left for myself. I saw what the rest of my life would be like if I kept her in it and it was UGLY and HORRIBLE. So, I walked away...and I haven't looked back.
Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading.
Jai
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