Not Special Rights, But EQUAL Rights!

    (This will be a fairly long post, so please bear with me!)

 My son (he's 9 and in 3rd grade) joined Cub Scouts last August. I've been bugging him to join since he was in first grade and I guess I finally wore him down. (OK, I'll be honest and say that he actually joined because a scout leader came into his classroom and talked about racing pinewood derby cars and shooting BB guns. This, of course won him over...duh, right?) So due to his enthusiasm and the lack of parental involvement within the group I signed up as a den parent. I was ready to rock and my son was so excited.
     As some of you may know, when you join Cub Scouts you have to buy a handbook that lists a ton of achievements. When you complete these achievements you receive awards or insignias that you can pin and/or iron onto your uniform. My son was so enthusiastic that he worked through the first 8 or 9 goals in record time. He got to stand in front of the group of parents and peers and receive his rewards for a job well done.
    All was going well until two weeks ago when I spoke to the Scout Leader about the religious achievement emblem.
  My son had completed his steps of religious requirements and in my excitement I searched for the website that contains pictures of the religious emblems that are available. We couldn't wait to see our religious pin. What would it look like? Would it be a pentacle or perhaps the Triple Moon Goddess? I searched the page once, twice....four times and didn't see any symbol for our religion. Surely I must have missed it! So, I searched one more time, just to be positive that Pagans were not represented. My mind reeled...how could this have happened? Was this for real? Surely we can't be the first Pagans to join the Cub Scouts. Right?
I decided against going off and being mean and hateful and decided to go to the Scout Leader and make him aware (nicely and politely) that our religious symbol was not represented. I mean, surely this must be some sort of mistake....or an oversight. I had faith that the Scout Leader would have some idea of what to do about this.
So, I walked up to him and said "Dylan has completed the necessary steps for the religious emblem, however I noticed that our religion, Paganism, isn't represented."
To which he replied: "Really? Well can't you just pick a different one?"
.........uhm...pick another what? Another religion perhaps...or the symbol.
Either way...hell no!
Why should my son have to pick a different symbol? This is 2012, why is this still an issue? If I had been Christian and told him there were no crosses to represent my Christianity would he have told me to pick the star of David and just pretend it's a cross?
Needless to say when I got home I was FUMING. I went back to the website with religious emblems and I wrote an email to the owner of the site. They responded the very next day with the following email:

"First, our apologies for not responding to you earlier, even if it was to acknowledge that we have received your email and that an answer would be coming soon. We're all volunteers here at the U.S. Scouting Service Project, Inc. (USSSP) -- NOT BSA employees or professionals. We do the massive work we do basically on our "free time" (I'm taking an early coffee break from my work here in order to respond to your posting) and sometimes emails kinda get "stuck" for a day or so.

Second, as I stated -- we here at the USSSP are NOT officially "anything" but a support, cheerleading and "kick in the seat of the pants" organization to the BSA. We are not funded, supported nor endorsed by the BSA (they would love to see us "go out of business" eventually but they've also agreed that without us, they would still be in the 80s as far as technology awareness and usage of the Internet is concerned). Our goal when we started almost 20 years ago and remains today is to "pull, push and prod" the BSA into usage of electronic mediums and electronic methods to bring their programs and program support to parents like yourself and indirectly to youth like your son. It has been a long process -- and we still have a long way to go in several areas. The information I present here is based upon the BSA's historical and current policies. As one of my daughters would say, "we're just the messengers -- just sayin' ".
My personal congrats to Dylan for his personal accomphishment. There's a LOT of Pagan and Wiccan youth in our programs -- I don't have any accounting of numbers, but it's a fair representation. Here's what the BSA's Religious Relationships people have been saying (Religious Relationships have been "rolled up" into the BSA's Program Group two years ago, with the director of Religious Relationships along with two other Relationships (Labor and ScoutReach) directors reassigned to more "broader roles" in the Program Group).
The religious emblem program is NOT a BSA program. Each religious group can develop a medal, medallion or patch which they make available to youth and/or adults to earn or receive. You cannot purchase them from the BSA Supply Group. The BSA doesn't have any say in the design or development of the award(s). They DO however, have say on the *wearing* of the various religious emblems on their official uniforms.
The Wiccan "Hart and Crescent" and a Cub Scout award (which I cannot recall the name right off) are valid awards which Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts may earn -- just like any other faiths' awards. However, the BSA doesn't recognize the Wiccan/Pagan faith as a "national partner", and that's where the issue with promotion and awareness comes into play. For a set of reasons -- some valid, many not so valid -- the BSA has refused to approve Wiccan leaders as "national partner organizations" to the BSA. Most of the "mainline religious organizations" are BSA partner organizations -- and as a block, they have made recommendations over the years (the last time I'm aware of it was in 2005 before the National Jamboree that year) not to approve the Wiccan national partner organization application.
Religious politics aside, the BSA DID do something back in 2003 which I've stated on my personal website and which should be a comfort to Wiccans and Pagans whom are a part of the BSA. Until that time, the wearing of the religious emblems on the BSA's various field uniforms was not allowed; in 2003, the BSA's National Executive Board permitted "all faith's religious emblems to be worn formally with any of the official uniforms; and at times which the emblem is not appropriate for wear, to be represented by the appropriate youth and/or adult religious emblem square knot patch without additional devices or pins denoting specific religious rites or observances."
In other words, the "Hart and Crescent" youth religious emblem could indeed be worn during Scout Sunday and during Blue and Gold banquets and Courts of Honor; and otherwise the small purple and silver (grey) square knot emblem is worn on the uniform to signify that the Scout or Scouter has earned or received *his or her faith's religious emblem* without something else saying "I've earned the .... " award from a particular religion.
We at the USSSP have been providing religious emblem information as part of our site in line with what the BSA has also provided on their official sites. We have done so for consistancy -- not because we agree or do not agree with their stance. When people come to our site to seek information (as you have done), we do provide the official information as well as the unofficial but "makes sense" responses because we want you and others to be fully aware of our unofficial but supportive nature to you and other families."

The BSA does not recognise Paganism or Wicca as a religion. Say WHAT? Yet, they don't mind taking my Pagan money to pay the $30 fee for the yearly membership. Also, note that the writer of the above email states that I can find and/or make an emblem of our religion and present it to my son....PRIVATELY. One has to wonder if by "privately" he means "behind closed doors in shame".  Why should my son have to accept an award in private while all the other boys in his den get to stand up in front of all of the parents and his peers and proudly receive their pins? This is just plain WRONG! And *I*, as a parent refuse to let this happen to anyone else's son.
Which brings me to why I am writing this blog:
It's time for ALL of us to stand up for the equal treatment of ALL religions who are not considered "mainstream".  I don't know about you, but I refuse to sit down and take this. Who's with me?!

Thank You for your time & Blessed Be,
Jai

The Longest Journey Starts With One Small Footstep

Well you can't meet people if you don't. put yourself out there. So, that's what I'm doing. I just joined 3 local groups in Knoxville. One is a book club (I know, big shocker..lol..not) one is a Metaphysical meet up and the third is a Pagan group. I'm excited to meet new people! Who knows, maybe it could be just the positive experience that I need in my life right now! I'm super excited and can't wait to go to my first meeting. Wish me luck!
)0( Love, Hugs & Blessed Be )0(

Keeping up with life

The coffee is brewing, the munch'kin is asleep and well, life moves on anyway. I think I've finally come to the realization that life is like a football game. You can't change the players, but you can't change how you play the game. I've let myself go nuts because my ex just doesn't get that he's a father and that our son should come first. He's never going to get it, so the only thing I can do is change how I handle the situation. He's usually the one that's passive when I'm the one going off. So, instead of going off....I'm going to learn to be passive. There are ways of pissing people off and then there's my way...lol. I'm tired of always being left in the dark and being the last person to know anything. I thought that he and I had finally grown up. He and I had made a commitment to communicate openly and honestly. He broke that promise by keeping things from me. I've finally accepted the fact that that was a fantasy....it's never going to happen. He's always going to keep things from me and there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it. So, I'm changing me, instead. It's easier said than done....but I'm going to make a conscience effort to do it. OK, well...I gotta get off of here, my show is on.
)0( Love, Hugs & Blessed Be )0(

Please excuse me while I vent

     I recently ended a friendship with someone who had been a major character in my life. We called eachother sisters and when we would introduce ourselves to people in public we would always say, "and this is my sister.....". I ended it because there's was always drama going on in her life. But what she didn't admit to herself or anyone else was that SHE INVITED this drama in and then expected everyone around her to treat her like she is the victim. She cheated on her husband in 2009 with her "high school boyfriend", got pregnant and then had an abortion to cover up her affair. I stood by her through it all, because that's what friends do, right? Anyway, she ended up leaving her husband a month or two later. She was staying with friends and met yet another guy. This one, after dating for him for a month, got arrested for making/selling meth. Oh, wonderful....so, guess who had to clean up the tears. She wasn't upset that he got arrested, she was upset because she couldn't stand to be away from "the love of her life". WTF??? Seriously? Ok, so continuing on with my story.....      He'd been in jail for about a week when my "friend" met another guy. He also used/sold drugs. So, she leaves jailbait and ends up with the guy that I will call "the abuser". They were together for a few months when he started beating her ass. (supposedly) then she SUPPOSEDLY got pregnant with his kid and the guy supposedly beat her so bad that she lost the baby. Confused yet? Try to keep up, kiddos. Now during all of this time, she is still legally married and from what I was told by her mother she was still sleeping with her husband off and on when she needed money. Nice, huh? Of course I didn't know all of this shit while it was happening because she knew I'd go off on her for becoming a whore. So much for her "good christian values", right?
     Where was I? Oh yeah, so, she's still with "the abuser" when "meth-head" gets out of jail. She sees him out in public, runs up to him and kisses him. So, she leaves "the abuser" IN THE PARKING LOT and drives off with "meth-head". She's with this guy a month or less when BOOM...all of a sudden she's pregnant again. And apparently her and "met-head" planned this one. About a month later, she miscarries. She calls me, and of course she's upset...but she doesn't call me to console her, she calls me to tell me that she is pissed at "meth-head" because he doesn't want to try to have another baby until he's got a job. I can say a lot of negative things about "meth-head" but that was seriously the smartest thing I'd ever heard him say.
     Which brings me to why I "broke up" with her. I caught her in so many lies! She lied to "meth-head" about when she actually got together with "the abuser". I know for a FACT that she cheated on "meth-head" with "abuser"....I have the texts that she sent to me by accident, she meant them to be for "abuser". When I confronted her on it, she told me flat out that she was still with "meth-head". When I asked her why she would go out with another man she said AND I QUOTE: "Well, a hot guy asked me out so I was like, why not?" She has two children that won't even speak to her now because she's ignored them while she was switching guys like and AT&T operator switches calls. The thing that started the demise of our friendship was her judging her daughter for cheating on her new husband with her ex husband. She sat there and called her daughter a whore, that her daughter was selfish and that she couldn't beleive that her daughter considered herself to be a Christian. OMG...are you kidding me? Seriously? Uhm, hello, pot? Yeah, kettle would like a word with you. I told her that she has no room to talk that way about her daughter and that the apple didn't fall far from that tree. I've never just been out and out cruel to someone, but damn it....she deserved it. I can't imagine saying something like that about my kid. EVER. 
     So, that's the story of an ended frienship. Why did I end it? Because I'm ALWAYS the one that has to clean up her messes. I'm always the one left holding the kleenex that wipes her tears away. But the real reason? I'm sick of her shit. Totally. Fucking. Over. It. When you've given so much of yourself to someone, in the end, there's nothing left for myself. I saw what the rest of my life would be like if I kept her in it and it was UGLY and HORRIBLE. So, I walked away...and I haven't looked back.
     Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading. 
Jai

New Day, New Choices!

After bitching about my weight for so long, I have finally taken the steps to learn how to control what I eat, how I eat and when I eat. Starting Monday I am beginning a new chapter in my life. A friend of mine told me that she signed up for Thrive!Weight Loss. It's a system designed to teach you how to read food labels and what all that mumbo jumbo means. It also includes a grocery list that you take to the store with you. The list describes what breads and complex carbs you can have and how much you can have. The friend that suggested this program to me lost 40lbs in 4 months. I am really excited about this and I feel good about it! I'm motivated and determined. Anyway, I will be posting my progress to share here with all the world....I need all the support I can get!
Blessed Be!

Keep on, keepin' on

A new chapter in my life is, finally, starting. My student loans have all been consolodated and yesterday I started the steps to getting registered or college. It's so strange because I've been fighting with this since last year and every time I got closer another obsticle would pop up and then another, then another.....so on and so forth. I still won't let myself get excited about it until it's 100% DONE! Like, when I have my books under my arm and a class schedule in my hand. Anyway, I've gotta jet off of here for now.

Blessed Be,
Jai

Update

R.I.P. Mooner, my baby girl. I love you.

It's been a while since I've posted an update on what's been going on in my life. Well, on January 31st my bestfriend/sister was admitted to the hospital for pulinary failure.....again. I spent the next week driving back and forth from Knoxville to Oak Ridge everyday to visit her in the hospital. She's home now and doing well, thank Goddess!
The week after that (which was the second week of February) I noticed a lump in my cats jaw. So, Tuesday the 9th I took her to the vet. The vet said that she didn't think that it was anything to worry about, that it was probably just a bad tooth that had some swelling, so she was given antibiotics and sent home. We were told to come back in seven days to see if the antibiotics were working. I'm very anal when it comes to my cat so, of course, like the hovering mama that I am I kept a close eye on her. On the following Friday, I ended up bringing her back in because it seemed like she was getting worse. She had to have a needle biopsy done because the lump had gotten bigger and it was obvious that the antibiotics weren't working. The vet was afraid that she had cancer.
     During all of this, the lump had gotten so big that my baby girl could barely open her mouth to eat. She would push food up the side of the bowl and then push the food into her mouth. Watching this broke my heart. I'd try to help her by putting food on a spoon but she was just not getting enough food into her mouth. She was so hungry. Her biopsy tests came back as inconclusive. (This was Tuesday, the 16th.) By this time, I had made up my mind on what had to be done. I couldn't sit there and watch this lump get bigger, so big that she couldn't eat and watch her suffer. I just couldn't sit there and watch my baby girl suffer any longer. So, Friday, February the 19th, I signed the papers to have her euthanized. I held her the entire time and told her how much I loved her. She looked so peaceful and I was so thankful that she's no longer hungry, or in pain. She's at peace now.
     Even as I type this the tears are streaming down my face because there's this huge emptiness inside my heart. Friday night was the hardest night of my life. For 13 years, there's always been a warm furry lump right next to me in bed. I can't even remember what life was like before she came along. I miss her face, her obsession with drawers and cabinet doors. I know that she is much better off now, but there is this huge empty hole in my life. I miss her so much.